Chapter 220

Philip's POV

I gripped the steering wheel tightly as I drove away from Howard's mansion, every nerve in my body stretched to its breaking point. The sleek leather under my palms felt rough and uncomfortable, much like the thoughts scraping against my consciousness.

Mother sat in the passenger seat, occasionally stealing cautious glances my way but not daring to speak. The silence in the car was suffocating,pressing down on us both until she finally gathered enough courage to break the uncomfortable atmosphere.

"Son..." she began hesitantly, her voice small and uncertain.

"Not a word, Mother!" I cut her off harshly. After the humiliation we'd experienced at Howard's estate, I could barely control my emotions.My hands tightened around the steering wheel as I tried to focus on the road ahead instead of the storm raging inside me.

Every time I recalled the confrontation with Annie, it felt like a knife slicing through my heart. The stark contrast between how I'd treated Annie versus Sarah became painfully clear. Those cold financial records had mercilessly exposed how I'd been generous with Sarah while being extremely stingy with my own wife.

Annie had tírelessly cared for Brian, maintained our home, never complained, and I had given her a pitiful $3,000a month.

Meanwhile,Howard showed Annie the respect she deserved, provided a comfortable living environment, didn't expect her to do housework,paid her generously just to care for Lucy, and even helped her secure a high-

income part-time job to ensure her financial independence.

The most ironicpart was that Howard wasn't even Annie's husband, just her boyfriend, and he had already done so much to ensure her comfort and happiness.

"Was I really that terrible?" I wrestled with the irremovable regret churning inside me. Why had I treated her that way? Simply because she loved me? Did that make her deserving of such treatment?

The weight of guilt made it hard to breathe. I turned to my mother, my voice trembling wvith emotion: "Do you have to push me to the edge before you're satisfied?"

Mother was shocked by my words. "No! I just wanted them to break up!"she quickly defended herself, her voice carrying a hurt tone. "I was doing it for your sake, Philip! You were so miserable, I was only trying to help!"

I laughed bitterly, feeling tears welling up in my eyes: "They're not going to break up, Mother. Your interference only strengthens their relationship."

My voice lowered, filled with self-reproach: "And it only makes me feel more guilty."

I continued: "Mother, do you know what happens when I'm alone at home lately? I can't help but think about those years I spent with Annie..."

The car weaved through the towering buildings of the financial district, but my thoughts were far away in the past. "When Annie was pregnant,I asked you if I should give her money."

"You said there was no need.,." my voice hardened as those conversations echoed in my mind. "You told me she should feel lucky to be married to me,which meant she should endure some hardships."

"At the time, I thought you made sense," I admitted, my tone flat yet accusatory. "But now I finally realize how cruel you were."

I turned onto the next block, continuing to speak, my voice sounding detached as if reciting facts about strangers: "When she was with me, she immediately became a full-time housewife, taking care of all my daily needs. She had no means to earn money herself."

"Yet you wouldn't let me give her money. So where was she supposed to get money to deliver our child?" I felt sparks of anger flashing in my eyes."She had to work during the late stages of her pregnancy, saving bit by bit.

I fixed my mother with an intense gaze: "What if she had chosen not to work to protect her health during pregnancy? How would she have managed to deliver the baby? Did you ever consider that?"

My mother's voice shrank to a whisper: "I didn't think you would actually give her nothing..."

I let out a scornful laugh: "Later, completely cutting off her living allowance was also your suggestion, wasn't it?"

Mother fell silent, unable to defend herself. The atmosphere in the car grew heavy,almost suffocating.

"My wife was completely devoted to me at home, yet I didn't give her a cent," I continued, feeling an overwhelming self-loathing rising within me."She had to handle all the housework and earn money to support me and our child."

I gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white: "Mother, you're a woman too. How could you be so cruel to another woman?" My voice

caught. "And I... as her husband, how could I follow all your suggestions?"

I felt tears filling my eyes, the New York street lights becoming blurred points of light through the moisture: "Do you know how I feel now? Like a complete monster. I earned hundreds of millions during those six years,but I only gave her a total of $108,000."

My voice shook with emotion: "And what about her? She spent so much on me, without a single complaint."

Mother,sensing my pain, tried to comfort me: "It's not your fault. This just proves Annie is..."

I could see the words "cheap" andI "attention-seeking" almost escaping her lips,but seeing my dark expression, she swallowed those insults.

Now Mother was clearly afraid of my anger and restrained herself. Instead,she reluctantly concluded: "...someone who never learned to love herself before loving others."

I wiped away my tears, saying painfully: "If she had truly learned to love herself, she would never have chosen me."

I began driving into the Upper East Side, looking arouind at the familiar streets and buildings. Now I clearly recognized my own shortcomings. If I were in Annie's position, I would never choose someone like myself.

"Sigh." Mother heaved a heavy sigh, shaking her head.

Mother suddenly fell silent for a moment, then her tone noticeably shifted.

"I know you care about Annie," her voice softened.′′Ipromise I won't speak ill of her anymore, okay?"

She quickly added: "At least not in front of you."

I glanced at her sideways, the neon lights outside the window casting flickering shadows across her face: "Whether you speak ill of her or not is your choice. I can't control that."

Mother's expression grew somber, but she persisted: "So, will you forgive me?"

"You should know my anger toward you, blocking your number,has nothing to do with Annie," I answered slowly and calmly, while driving into her neighborhood. "So I can't just forget what you did to me simply because you improve your attitude toward Annie."

Mother was growing increasingly impatient with what she perceived as my stubbornness,asking sharply: "Then can you at least tell me what exactly you're angry about?"

I stated bluntly: "It's obvious. You're my mother, you're supposed to support me unconditionally. Yet you conspired with Sarah to harm my body."

"When you forced me to have that vasectomy, you should have known there would be consequences."

Mother frowned, a flash of confusion crossing her eyes.

"Actually, I knew you would hate me for it," Mother said calmly. "But you should at least unblock me, give me a chance to make amends."

"No need," I rejected her completely, stopping the car. "We're here. Get out.11

Seeing my resolute expression, a flash of hurt crossed Mother's eyes."

Philip. I'm your birth mother! How can you be so heartless toward me?"

I stared at her, feeling a wave of exhaustion sweep over me:"I'm your birth son, but that didn't stop you from deliberately hurting me, did it?"

With those final words, I reached over and opened the passenger door for her. The cool outside air immediately rushed into the car,like the cold relationship between us.

Mother's hand gripped the seat tightly for a moment, as if wanting to say something, but ultimately said nothing. She hesitated for a moment, finally letting out a soft sigh, and slowly got out of the car.

When the door closed, I felt a strange relief,as if a stone that had been pressing on my chest for years had finally been removed. I didn't drive away immediately, but sat there quietly.

The day's experiences replayed in my mind like a movie-Annie's composure, Howard's ease, my mother's manipulation, and my own stupidity and coldness. I took a deep breath, then started the car.